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Singing through the night
13 June 2021 Suffering

Singing through the night

Since the beginning of December, last year, when I heard I wouldn’t be receiving any treatment for my cancer, I have been focused on getting my story written. So, to stay focused, I mostly avoid...
An ugly duckling: My cancer journey begins
15 May 2021 Suffering

An ugly duckling: My cancer journey begins

Since I could remember, I had this ‘beauty spot’ above my left knee. But the beauty spot became an ugly duckling (kind of the opposite to what happens in fairy tales). Slowly it expanded, then it...
Epilepsy entered (Written 20 Mar 2021)
24 March 2021 Suffering

Epilepsy entered (Written 20 Mar 2021)

The first time I saw someone having an epileptic seizure, I was five. I had gone with my mom to do our monthly grocery shopping at the Pick & Pay. We were walking from our car to the store’s...

Blog Introduction

My parents started telling me about Jesus before I even could understand. And from the dawn of my memory, I wondered why, if God truly lives in me, and loves me, I couldn’t feel him there. To me, He wasn’t real, and it worried me. My dad said that the mere fact that I thought about God, meant His Holy Spirit was pulling me towards God. However, God remained a distant idea as I continued through childhood, into my teens. And then a couple of things happened that sent me running from, instead of to, God. Many wild turns down dark streets later, I ended up fractured and desperate for help. I’ve tried killing my pain with pleasure, tried seeking help from psychologists and counselors, but still, I remained a mess.

Finally, I cried out to Jesus, and He saved me. And for the first time, I didn’t need to wonder if He lived in me. Because I felt his presence, I heard his voice, and I saw visions of Him. I yearned for an intimate relationship with Him, and being able to have two-way conversations was, for me, a crucial part of having such a relationship. So I embarked on a journey of discovering how God speaks to me, through the Bible, His still small voice inside of me, through nature, dreams, and visions. Over the years, God has poured words into my heart that I have written down. Those words are what I share here with you.

Although no two relationships are the same, I hope that by sharing glimpses of my relationship with Jesus, here, I might help you draw near to Him, encourage you on your journey of faith, and help you discover how He speaks to you.

May God guide you to the specific words, meant for you.

Dreams

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23 March 2021 Dreams

A famine of the Word of the Lord (21 May 2017)

A small group of people was gathered in our garden. I was with them.
A voice boomed from heaven. “In time to come, there will be a famine, not of food, but of words of the Lord. Demonstrate what that will be like.”
Instantly the group aged...
Post One
18 March 2021 Dreams

The cutting (9 Dec 2020)

I say to God, “Lord, I am more relaxed now because I realized I have more time than I thought.”
His voice roars like thunder. “Look, I am standing ready with the ax, ready at the root of the tree. And soon, I will cut it down! So work while y...
Post One
18 March 2021 Dreams

Royal Wedding (3 Nov 2018)

We are waiting for the royal wedding. I am a young girl, excited to see the princess. Suddenly, I get a glimpse of her long train, as she and her fiancé walks with the gangway, onto the ship. The ship is about to sail. I want to run after the ro...

Suffering

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Post One
15 May 2021 Suffering

An ugly duckling: My cancer journey begins

Since I could remember, I had this ‘beauty spot’ above my left knee. But the beauty spot became an ugly duckling (kind of the opposite to what happens in fairy tales). Slowly it expanded, then it darkened, then it turned into an irregular flower...
Post One
02 April 2021 Suffering

Fear (Written 30 Mar 2021)

Ever since I can remember, Fear cast shadows of various shapes and sizes over my life. Growing up, one very large shadow was the fear I had of snakes. Once I stood paralyzed within the doorway to my room, certain there was a snake hidden under t...
Post One
29 March 2021 Suffering

Divorce (Written 26 Mar 2021)

When I was in my late twenties, I attended a community church where I got to know modern worship music and then thoroughly fell in love with worshiping God through singing.
A couple of times we sang the song, ‘Blessed be your name’, by Matt R...

Insights

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Post One
09 May 2021 Insights

Philippians 1A: A series of reflection on scripture

Paul wrote his letter to the church in Philippi, while he was in prison. Seeing that all of us are at this time imprisoned in one way or the other – by the global pandemic, the COVID-19 lockdown, fear, illness, poverty (I through ill-health and...
Post One
25 April 2021 Insights

Keys of the Kingdom

Often along my journey with Christ, I have wondered how to share the gift He has given me, clearly and understandably. It troubled me that I couldn’t verbalize what was in my heart. Because how will anyone know the tune that is being played if t...
Post One
31 March 2021 Insights

The Kingdom of Heaven (17 Nov 2016)

One morning, I prayed, “Lord, please show me an image of heaven.”
A vision, of Jesus, hanging on a cross flashed before my eyes. And then, understanding dawned in my heart.
Heaven is a kingdom ruled by a King who loves his people so much,...

Testimonies

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12 April 2021 Testimonies

Near-accident

I was twenty-two and worked at a printing company in Johannesburg, half-an-hour’s drive with the N12 from where I stayed (my parent’s home), in Benoni. I’ve only had my car for a year and could count the times I’ve driven in rain, on one hand. A...
Post One
21 March 2021 Testimonies

Snake in the park (Written 15 Nov 2015)

Most afternoons, my husband and I used to take our dogs for a walk in a park near where we stayed.  One afternoon, while walking the dogs, Calvin and I were deep in discussion. How I saw it, while being so concentrated on our conversation,...
Post One
19 March 2021 Testimonies

Delivered from smoking Feb 2013 (Written Nov 2017)

I started smoking at fifteen. My friends quit smoking the year we turned eighteen, but I continued in secret, for months. It wasn’t fun to smoke alone, so, hard as it was, I did eventually manage to quit.

Three years later though, all my...

Worship

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03 May 2021 Worship

A good-bad day

In my inbox, two emails -
a problem I can’t solve, but must.
Instantly I’m off the rails,
yet You whisper, “Trust!”

My lips, an angel guards.
Your Spirit guides my mind
through flaming enemy darts
to a solution, I couldn...
Post One
03 May 2021 Worship

Strength in weakness

When you know you are weak,
You leave Me room to be strong -
to tame the words you speak
and show you where you’re wrong.

Your heart breaks, your face wet with tears,
as you understand what you have done.
I rush to your sid...
Post One
19 April 2021 Worship

Not like you

My ways are not like yours.
The understanding you gain -
a glimpse of what is real.
Your attempts to figure out
the unseen world, in vain.

You simply cannot grasp
of My love, of my power -
the width, the breadth, the hei...

Scribblings

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02 April 2021 Scribblings

Headline encourages (6 Sep 2020)

The heading of one of the Benoni City Times’ articles caught my eye. ‘Faith (103) beats COVID’.
I read the article and was happy for Faith that she recovered. But because I was consumed with worry while I awaited the results of a biopsy I had...
Post One
02 April 2021 Scribblings

White bunny - a sign?

I was strolling through our garden with our dogs when I saw a white ball of fluff hopping around the corner of the house. My heart skipped a beat. Was it what I thought? At once, I swept our chihuahua, Sheila, up under my arms, called our dachsh...
Post One
01 April 2021 Scribblings

To be a princess (Nov 2016)

I watched a repeat broadcast of 'The Princess Diaries' with my mom. Like the previous times I’ve seen it, I quickly slipped into the same blissful relaxation the movie induced in me before. But this time, I got more out of watching the movie tha...